Triphopopotamus

When we told people we were going to Thailand, seasoned travellers all warned us to beware of the culture shock when we arrived in Bangkok. Perhaps because we were so excited to be there or perhaps because we were prepared for it, we didn't really experience anything more than a little static electricity.

Arriving in Bali was quite a different experience. After our taxi from the airport dropped us off in Kuta we just stare, marvelling and as if someone had jammed our fingers into a socket a bone shaking culture shock took hold of our bodies. A faux-western beach resort spread out before us. Our eyes are bombarded- by neon lights and signs; Billabong, Ripcurl, D&G, Pizza Hut, McDonalds, Hard Rock Cafe. Our ears are assaulted by the constant beeping of taxis competing for business, music blaring from bars, and the loud and brash tones of a thousand Aussies.

Kuta is Courtown to Australia's Dublin, Benidorm to Australia's middle England, the equivalent of Bondi beach to the Sydney bound culchie with county jersey and straw hat in hand. I think you get the point! We arrive on a Monday, and will be meeting 3 other Irish girls here but not until Thursday. So feeling like rabbits at a rave concert, and not overly impressed with the standard of cheap accommodation on offer in Kuta, we spend one night in a very basic room near Poppies2 lane and the next morning we head for the sanctuary of Ubud. Ubud was recommended to us by countless people and it was indeed amazing, so amazing in fact that it deserves it's own separate blog post. So for now I will just say we needed that little break to compose ourselves before we could return and adjust our eyes to the bright lights of Kuta.
Beach before the crowds arrive

From Kuta, Bali

After our 3 days of bliss in the Ubud we head back to Kuta and with depleted sources of mobile technology available to us organising to meet up the other Irish girls proves to be more complicated than masterminding a plan to break into the Pentagon. We have to try and remember what people did before we all had mobiles!


We meet them eventually and head out to Skybar, just one of the many nightclubs on offer. It's a stark reminder of the nightclub bombings that took place here in 2002 when they check our bags on the way into the club- not for a cheeky naggin of vodka as you might expect but for bombs! We have a good night, its nice to see the Aoife, Claire and Hazel catch up with them, have a drink and a boogie and admire/laugh at the dancers performing choreographed routines in colourful outfits on stage. Hookers come into the night club touting for business from drunk tourists (which they get) and while the Irish girls are tut tutting they get given out to by an Aussie guy, who asks them did they also assume his Balinese girlfriend was a hooker. They have to explain at length that no they don't think all Balinese women are hookers but that when a girl walks in in perspex heels with thigh high stockings and a man hands her money from his wallet, she kind of loses the benefit of the doubt!
Hazel and Aoife

From Kuta, Bali

Monument to people killed in 2002 bombings

From Kuta, Bali

We spend the next few days soaking up our last bit of the Asian sun on Kuta beach whilst being pestered to buy sarongs,straw mats, ice creams, surf lessons. One of the more hillarious methods of getting your attention is for moped taxi drivers or hawkers to say "hey darling, remember me?". The first time it happens I have to ask Eleanor is there anything she wants to tell me!! On the beach an Indonesian guy in bright board shorts and neon sunglasses offers surf lessons (and possibly more!) and asks how long I have been in Bali, when I tell him 5 days he asks why I am so white. I decline to tell him that I have actually been out in the Asian sun for 6 weeks!

I decide to take surf lessons but rather than going with the cool dudes on the beach I opt for Odyssey surf school. I have a 2 hour group surf lesson, during the first hour I mostly drink the polluted sea water and fall down a lot. The second hour is much more successful for me and after i catch 3 or 4 baby waves, I am already picturing crowds cheering my name as I win competitions and kids buying surfboards with my name on them. I am snapped back to reality as my board is heading straight for a swimmers head, with my steering not really up to scratch just yet I tumble back into the sea for another drink. Surfing was definitely one of my few highlights of Kuta, but unfortunately I don't have any pics of me falling over for people to laugh at!
Odysseys

From Kuta, Bali

From Kuta, Bali

Eventually the constant bleatings of the hawkers and shopkeepers get our attention so we pick up some knock off DVDs and browse the stalls for more things to weigh our backpacks down. By the end of our time in Kuta we've learned to appreciate it a little bit more.Even though its not a place I'd go back to, its hard to look out across the sandy beach at surfers catching waves and kids playing on the shoreline, as the sun starts to set and not have a hint of that happy holiday feeling.

Windswept

From Kuta, Bali

From Kuta, Bali

We leave Koh Phangang with heavy hearts because its been really lovely to have a gang of people to hang out with, and the atmosphere was so chilled it seems a shame to break it and return to more ferry-train-bus hopping. With only Bali left on our Asian itinerary, it also feels like we are coming to the end of our travels- when realistically it is just the beginning and we should be a little more excited about the prospect of arriving in New Zealand!

We also leave Koh Phangang as fugitives, with our visas expired for several days now. We could have gone to an embassy to get them renewed- but we didn't and seeing as we are leaving for Bali in just a few days we decide to take the risk of just waiting and paying the fine at the airport. This is apparently no problem, as long as you voluntarily let the immigration control know your visa is up. However if you are in Thailand on an expired visa and you get in trouble with the police for any reason e.g. crashing a moped(!) or they ask you to produce your visa, they are obliged to put you in a detention cell, which Amnesty International have described as "cruel and degrading".Gulp!

We are both a little nervous about our new role as lawbreakers. We are picturing the impending bright lights being shone in our face in a dark questioning room, while people shout at us in Thai and then manhandle us into a dingy, rat filled cell that smells like a porta-loo. As for playing it cool I don't think Ellie will be getting recruited by any Mafia bosses anytime soon! She is guiltier looking than a puppy that's just weed on the new carpet! We wait for our train from Chumporn to Bangkok and she practically breaks into a sweat every time a police-man or pretty much anyone in official looking attire walks down the platform. Amazingly we manage to make it to Bangkok by night train without being arrested by the police, train-porters, milk men or anyone else with a uniform!

The political situation in Bangkok has worsened since we left for the islands and there are whispered rumours of a civil war. We get to our hotel at about 7am and go to bed for a couple of hours, I have a broken sleep that is punctuated by the rumbling sounds of what I'm sure are bombs and Molotov cocktails, but when I eventually wake to go outside it transpires that thunder are lightening were the sounds that I had heard! OK so maybe I have an overactive imagination but a few streets away it's a harsh reality .

The military presence on thee streets is more evident than the last time we were here, and the red-shirts have now barricaded themselves into their camps. I didn't think I'd ever have to say this but luckily for us we aren't staying in a 5 star hotel, and are nowhere near the central business district, so again we don't actually see any violence and the only way we are affected is that there is slightly less hustle and bustle around Bangkok because tourists have been warned off coming here. It's a bit of an over-cautious approach as the majority of the city is fine and we feel quite safe despite the fact that every time we come to Bangkok one or both of us is absent mindedly wearing a red t-shirt or top! We are also hoping that the ongoing situation means the police will be far too concerned with looters and arsonists etc to worry about little ol' visa-dodgers like myself and Ellie!

Due to the trouble we again stay in the same 3/4 street zone around Koh Sahn road that (even with my appalling sense of direction) I now know like the back of my hand. I spend the afternoon skyping my parents and trying my best to show them that I really do have a tan, but they just laugh and my sallow mother tries to make up for being greedy with her genes by telling me I have a lovely delicate complexion! What a consolation!

In the evening we go for cocktails and befriend a very drunk Bostonian who's bloodline is more Irish than mine. Perhaps that's also because his blood alcohol levels are a lot more Irish than mine. We play pool,sip at our delicious mojitos and mostly laugh at him because he is very drunk.We have this exchange with The Bostonian at least 6 or 7 times :
"hey, are you girls drinking mimosas?"
"Mojitos"
"ohhh mo- heeee -tows" "right right"
5 mins later....
"Hey is that a mimosa?"

Then he starts speaking American, talking about "throwing game" and telling us 'his girl' is probably going to "beat his ass". In between his drunken memory lapses and Americanisms we have a good chat and he recommends some places to go in Bali. We say goodnight and leave him to go home and "get his ass beat" by his girlfriend when she find out he was out talking to 2 Irish girls all night.

We get to the airport at 5 am and proceed to immigration to potentially get our asses beat. It all goes quite smoothly, we pay a fine for our overstay and everything is hunky-dory. We never get to find out if The Bostonian got off quite as lightly when he stumbled back to his hotel room at 5 or 6am.

Men in Brown

From Koh Tao and Koh Pha Ngang

After the disaster of Phuket, the loveliness of Phi Phi and our underwater adventures in Koh Tao we are finally finished our courses of anti-biotics and are ready to embrace a bit of the backpacker party lifestyle. So where better to go than a place famous for it's parties, the island of many spelling variations Koh Pha ngang/ Koh Phangan...or Koh Flanagan as my Dad called it when looking for me on a map.

Having realised while in Laos that there was no way we would make it to Koh Phangang in time for one of the famous Full Moon parties - we decided that we will try and make it there for one of the other lunar related shindigs. So we arrive on the island just ahead of the Black Moon party.

Not for the first time our 'free pick up' from the ferry port doesn't materialise and we have to pay for a taxi to our resort. We are staying in a bungalow at the Weeanthang resort; a pretty collection of bungalows and buildings surrounding a swimming pool (with bar!) that overlooks the beach. If you stand at the right angle in the restaurant it looks like the pool overflows into the sea. Pretty as the resort is in general, our room is quite basic and we have to share with some other tenants. Ants. Millions of them, and they obviously weren't too happy about having to share their space with us because they attacked us night after night, and like bad college room-mates they ate our food, used our toothbrush and our towels and tried to crawl into bed with us in the middle of the night. However in the end they must have got to like us because they even snuck into our backpacks to try and come with us when we were leaving.

The resort is a lovely place, there are cushions and low tables and day beds to lounge on just dotted all over the place. It kind of facilitates our laziness so we don't see a whole lot of Koh Phangang away from our immediate environment. On our second day we are still on our ' I love scuba' buzz so we decide to do our first dive as proper qualified divers that afternoon.

We do two dives that day, the first one is a bit of a disaster. The visibility is crap and we can't really see anything, had it not been for our instructor Karl's luminous yellow flippers I definitely would have gotten lost. Later in the dive the strap snaps off my mask so I have to go to the surface to fix it, meanwhile Karl has broken the inflator on his BC which means he has to paddle really hard to stay afloat and Ellie's flippers didn't want her to feel left out of the "problematic equipment club" so despite being a perfect fit at the beginning of the dive they proceed to try and strangle her feet.
We head back to the boat for a break- and to let the nitrogen bubbles escape from our bodies(very important- or else you get nitrogen narcosis or "narked" as the cool scuba crew call it and feel spaced out or can't stop laughing- it sounded like great fun, but apparently is a bit dangerous if your 18m under water).
Our second dive is much more successful we stay in shallower water and the visibility has improved a lot. We're back in our under water playground with pretty corals, different schools of fish, anemones that cower away from the current made by our flippers,anemone fish ,and fronds of algae that move as if they were squid. But still none of the big players like sharks or turtles we've been searching for- and still no Nemo. A few days later we hear from our Koh Tao friends Michael and Allie that while snorkeling in Koh Phi Phi they saw giant sea turtles. Very. Very.Jealous!

Having befriended the endearingly camp, Lady gaga obsessed, bar man J.J ,who has also befriended everyone else staying at the resort we get chatting to a few people. Then along with JJ who's adopted the role of tour guide, our raggle taggle group of Irish, dutch, kiwi , Canadian and south African party goers do what party goers do best and go to Baan Tai beach where the Black Moon party is held.
Ellie and JJ

From Koh Tao and Koh Pha Ngang

we contemplate alternative transport to the party

From Koh Tao and Koh Pha Ngang

We pass by rows of every kind of fried Thai snack imaginable on the way in to the party. They are obviously well used to the rush of people for their 3am Kebabs. We then pass by several people with walls of neon pictures offering body painting and eventually make it to the beach. Trance music pumps from giant speakers and there are giant colourful neon decorations everywhere. We get stuck into our buckets of Sangsom whiskey and coke and m150 and get to know our neighbours from the resort.

To be honest it isn't quite as busy as I had imagined it would be, and apparently the rising price of the tickets (500BHT-about 12euro) has something to do with the dwindling attendances. However it's still a great night had by all; we get to know people,we drink delicious buckets, we sit on the beach and watch the fire dancers do some impressive moves, and I have to admit dance/trance music is even growing on me.

From Koh Tao and Koh Pha Ngang

From Koh Tao and Koh Pha Ngang

Ellie's great pic

From Koh Tao and Koh Pha Ngang

Our resort is managed by an English guy who is married to a Thai girl and has two adorable little kids, they along with their little cousins run around the resort getting up to all sorts of mischief and we can't help but laugh at them. Its a real sign of how chilled out things are here as I watch a 5 yr old kid climb onto a glass table over a couch and onto a tree that overhangs a tiled floor, I can't help but cringe, whereas his dad just walks past and says "Alright son" as the child carries on dangling backwards over the tiles. The western world -and I- really need to relax.

The next evening we spend around a pool table with the others from the resort and we are invited to a party on the other side of the island by J.J .About half of the people decide to stay and play pool for the evening and the rest of us decide to accompany J.J on a little adventure. So JJ, Ellie, Dutch girl Lon and new arrivals Kelly,Ben and Patrick and myself all hop in a taxi which first brings us along the treacherous stretch of road that goes to Haad Rin. The hills are so steep and windy and the taxi really struggles up the hills and runs away down the other side.

We arrive in Haad Rin where the full moon parties are normally held and admittedly it's a bit of a hole full of ever present drunk tourists. On the flipside of that though, there is fun to be had and if you can't beat them you might as well join them. So we buy a few drinks from one of the many, many bars that line up along the beach and sit back and watch the fire dancers and fire related party games that ensue.

So we are all actually having a pretty good time on the beach, enjoying the antics and have all more or less presumed that this was the party JJ was bringing us to when all of a sudden he tells us it's time to go. So we hop in a taxi boat that takes us off to a super secret location! As we speed across the water, sea breeze in our hair and perfectly clear, star filled skies above us Ellie points out that it "beats a taxi to the club back home".
After we have pulled in at the little bay we make a trek by torch/phone light up a pathway through the trees that eventually comes to a clearing where we see lights, hear the throb of music and sounds of other revellers. Its a secret jungle party! Now for all we know everybody in the world knows about this place but to us it feels very exclusive and if just for one night I think we might officially be cool.

From Koh Tao and Koh Pha Ngang

We spend the night boogieing away to dance music, lounging on cushions or playing on the giant swing. As we make our way back to Baan Tai later that night we all reflect on what a good time we had and we must be heavier with the weight of alcohol inside us because as the taxi struggles and chugs back up those hills to Baan Tai, the wheels spin round and there is a smell of burning rubber. JJ starts to sing '3 little birds' : "Don't worry, be happy" and we all join in despite not being able to remember much more than the chorus- but we laugh and we don't worry, because we are all happy.

From Koh Tao and Koh Pha Ngang

Me sporting a tan (really), the other guy is just a show off!

From Koh Tao and Koh Pha Ngang

Taxi home

From Koh Tao and Koh Pha Ngang

From Koh Tao and Koh Pha Ngang

Our next port of call on our little adventure is Koh Tao where we have enrolled in a diving course for 5 days.It is quiet and unspoilt little island paradise - that also happens to be overrun with diving schools!

We get there by overnight ferry, which feels like proper backpacker travelling as we share a deck of a boat side by side with rows of other sleeping people and as the sun rises we pull into the port in Koh Tao.

From Koh Tao and Koh Pha Ngang

From Koh Tao and Koh Pha Ngang

From Koh Tao and Koh Pha Ngang

We arrive at the dive school, and for once they weren’t lying when the brochure described it as “right on the beach”. It’s too early to check in so Ellie takes one of her trademark naps (!) in the restaurant of our scuba school which overlooks the beautiful sandy bay. I, meanwhile, am enticed by the cute wooden massage hut and decide to opt for a foot massage. As I lay back and have my feet massaged by a friendly transvestite I look out the window and try to find where the horizon separates the perfect blue sky from the blue green sea. I close my eyes and listen the waves lapping against the legs of the wooden hut. It really feels like paradise, and on a less romantic level I am hoping the massage will help drain my puffy foot which is the last evidence of my cellulitus. I don’t know that it helped, but it felt great and I had a nice little chat with the transvestite afterward!

From Koh Tao and Koh Pha Ngang

From Koh Tao and Koh Pha Ngang

Later that afternoon we get started on our scuba course with a mind numbing 90s style instruction video that is tough to stay awake during-so I don’t. Later we meet the other 2 people on our course, an Irish couple called Allie and Michael, they are lovely. They are doing the PADI course, whereas unknowingly, we have gone for the cheaper option of SSI. All the instructors there teach both courses and assure us that the biggest difference is that PADI is more expensive. The fact that we are on different courses also means Allie and Michael do their theory classes with slightly scary instructor Dutch Dan, whereas myself and El get to have our classroom sessions with hilariously entertaining french Canadian instructor Jean-Nic. Another plus for the SSI course! Jean-nic tells us important things like the fact that the scuba mask makes things look closer and bigger…so boys often like to check out their own anatomy while they are under the water!!

Ducth Dan is our instructor for the open water diving. He is a little bit gruff and everyone is pretty much terrified of him. He is a bit nicer to me though- I think purely because he told me he as a niece in Ireland called Siobhan! Celebs have the right idea, it really is great when your name opens doors for you.Dan is a bit of a character too; he has a tattoo of the rolling stones symbol on his left calf and the caricatures of the 4 Beatles on his right calf. Eleanor is troubled: “you have to pick one or the other!”He also has a Who tattoo on his shoulder. Buying records just isn’t enough for some people I guess . I'm getting my Take That and Boyzone body-art next week.
Michael and Allie

From Koh Tao and Koh Pha Ngang

So we cover all our theory in the classroom with hilarious Jean Nic and do our homework every night like good girls before having dinner most nights in the scuba school restaurant and a few drinks with Mikey and Allie. Generally during dinner there is some hilariously crap movie on such as “Death Race” starring Jason Statham or some Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen movie. We are not really allowed to drink too much because it increases the likelihood of getting the bends- so we have to watch Mr. Statham “act” without even numbing our brain cells first. We do get a laugh out of the one liners though- including a spectacular profanity laden quote by normally demure actress Joan Allen. I couldn’t even repeat it- but it’s worth watching the movie for that line alone!
(no under water pics so please enjoy this butterfly!)

From Koh Tao and Koh Pha Ngang

We do our first 3 dives and practice different skills under the water like pretending we are out of air and getting someone to help you. If our acting skills aren’t convincing enough first time around Dan makes us repeat the performance. The first dive where we go a little deeper I know there are fish and coral all around me but I don’t see any of them as I too concerned with dying of a pulmonary embolism or to a less dramatic extent bursting an ear drum. After a while I get a better handle of equalizing my ear pressure and start to really enjoy the diving.

Our last dive day also happens to coincide with my birthday. It’s our best dive yet, we see a Sting-ray slither under a rock away from us, as does a moray eel. Other fish are less bothered by our presence – and while we stare at them with wide eyes full of wonder they just look back at us as if we were another rock and go on swimming. Unrequited love is hard sometimes. We also see a beautiful spotted shell in the corals, razor fish that swim vertically and even the scary trigger fish that is viciously territorial . The place we dive on this day has huge corals that tower up above us and it really feels like you are in a completely different world. As Sebastian from the Little Mermaid would say “It’s better down where it’s wetter, under the sea!!”

It’s not all a walk in the marine park though. There are moments of panic where you feel like you’re not getting enough air, our your mask presses down on your face or when the whole world of sea and sky is literally pressing on your shoulders. And after our last dive I do feel like I’m on a boat for the rest of the day swaying from side to side. Still it’s been 4 days with a lot of diving and we managed not to spontaneously combust under the water so I decide that the benefits definitely outweigh the risks.

By the the end of the 5th day we are completely hooked on diving, my only regret being that we didn’t rent an underwater camera for our last dive. We decide we will definitely be continuing the search for Nemo and the rest of his mates in Koh Phangan or Bali.

From Koh Tao and Koh Pha Ngang

From Koh Tao and Koh Pha Ngang

Leaving the luck sink that was Phuket gives us such a feeling of relief and we are so happy to board our ferry to Koh Phi Phi.

On the ferry between our bandages, which we are sick of people commenting on and laughing at us, and our white skin we are like local celebrities. Indian men take pictures of us and want us to pose with them all on the front of the boat. God only knows what captions they are putting under those photos on facebook! A Thai woman also wants to take a picture with me…the whitest girl alive I assume!

From Phi Phi

As we get closer to Phi Phi the views are really stunning; giant craggy slate rocks that just stick up out of the turquoise coloured water are amazing and the trees that grow on them despite the complete lack of soil are fascinating to see! We get off the boat and begin the walk to our hotel. There are no cars/roads on the island- I love it already!! The windy little streets lead us up to our hotel- which is quite basic but suits us fine.

Phi Phi is quite a touristy spot but again it is mostly backpacker tourism so it does retain quaintness about it and it’s not full of high rise hotels or anything like that. It’s also a bit more expensive than other places we’ve been but it’s such a cute and pretty little island we’ll forgive it and as for the crowds, you can really understand why everyone wants to come here. The windy little streets lead us down to the white sandy beach, and we must have missed the memo about the supermodel look- alike competition/ body building gala that is on here this weekend but we spot all the potential competitors on the beach soaking up the sun! I am a white rhino again!

Unfortunately due to our invalid state we don’t get as much of the Phi Phi experience as we would have liked. At night we head down to the beach and watch as outside the bars the fire-dancers twist and turn and throw various flaming objects around the place. We watch the other revelers having fun and attempting to skip as the fire dancers turn a huge flaming rope. Many of them fall over and not being able to drink because of the antibiotics means we are grimacing and wincing every time someone gets hit by the flaming rope whereas all the other alcohol filled people just cheer and volunteer to be the next burn victim.

Ellie is in a worse off way than me with her cuts/ bandages meaning she is land-bound, so like the good friend I am I ditch her and head off for a snorkeling and sunset boat tour on one of the pretty long tail boats. Unfortunately the majority of my boats passengers are non-English speaking couples, so apart from the odd little chat I am a bit of a loner for the day, but I don’t mind as the stunning scenery distracts me. The places we stop for snorkeling are amazing I’ve never seen such fantastic coloured coral and the variety is amazing. There are so many species of fish and their vibrant colours really are just breathtaking (or maybe I just wasn’t very good at breathing through a snorkel!). It seems so amazing to me that you don’t even need to dive to see these creatures, just a simple little snorkel mask at the surface of the water and you’re in a whole different world.

From Phi Phi

Navigating around the big limestone rocks and islands we visit a few different areas on the trip:
Monkey beach – funnily enough a beach with cute monkeys, idiot tourists do things like give them sips from coke bottles. It makes me angry.

From Phi Phi

From Phi Phi

Viking cave- we are not allowed to go inside but it got it's name from the ancient Viking ship cave drawings on the wall. Thousands of swallows live on top of the 15 meter high ledges in the cave and provide the ingredients for birds nest soup.

Mango beach (? - the guys accent is tough to understand!) A lovely sandy strand where we stop for a spot of lunch

From Phi Phi

From Phi Phi

From Phi Phi

Maya bay- where the movie The Beach was filmed. Stunning scenery and full of sienna miller look alike club members.

From Phi Phi

From Phi Phi

We stop at some more spots for snorkeling and others just for swimming. After all that we sit on the boat and bob in the middle of the sea as we wait for sunset to come, it’s all very serene (and to be honest a tad boring- the sun takes aaages to set!). We head off back to the island for my last night in Phi Phi.
It’s been really nice here even with the models! Wish we could have skipped Phuket and come straight here for the extra few days! We leave Phi Phi on the ferry and head for a quick stop off in Krabi before the next little adventure.

From Phi Phi